Sometimes you just need a good conversation about feelings. More specifically how YOU want to feel today, tomorrow, and the rest of your life.
I got the opportunity to have this conversation a couple weekends ago with Marcy during the Desire Map Level 2 Workshop.
For those of you who are hearing about the Desire Map for the first time you can check out my first post on the Desire Map Level 1 Workshop which I also got to do with Marcy and get a more in-depth look at the theory and purpose behind Desire Mapping.
But just for a quick recap – the essential purpose of the Desire Map movement is to feel good – and who doesn’t want to feel good?
While Level 1 is all about uncovering and declaring your core desired feelings – or CDFs (again, read my post on Level 1 to understand what this means), Level 2 is about applying your CDF’s to create goals with soul.
When I initially heard Marcy was hosting a Level 2 workshop, I honestly had no intention to go as I was still coming down from the wedding marathon. But as I soon found out, I needed this experience more than ever.
With the end of wedding planning I’d been feeling a little lost on what to do now that I didn’t have flowers to pick out, hor d’oeuvres to taste, or programs to DIY.
I suddenly had all this extra free time without knowing what to fill it with and that empty space was driving me crazy. I knew I should be doing something – but I was struggling to figure out what that something was.
So as the universe would have it, I ended up having brunch with Marcy and Sarah (who had already planned to attend the workshop), and they convinced me this was the perfect time to dive into Level 2.
And I’m happy to say they couldn’t have been more right.
Why I Recommend These Workshops
We, especially as women, never take time to work on ourselves. We’re always giving and being there for others – which is wonderful, but what I’ve learned over time that in order to truly give and be there for others, you’ve got to give and be there for yourself first.
Desire Map workshops give you the opportunity to do just that.
Many of us – and I say this because after doing the workshop twice I continually hear the same struggles – follow a certain path because it’s what we believe we SHOULD do. Whether it’s a career or a relationship or some other major life choice we constantly move forward based on SHOULDS.
“I should take this job because everyone says it’s such a great opportunity” or “I should stick this relationship out even though I’m not really into it.” or “I should do what so-and-so says because he/she has way more life experience than me.”
Should. Should. Should.
If your life is constantly driven by shoulds, these workshops were made for you! It’s an opportunity to take time to gain some clarity, shift your perspective, and connect with other fabulous women looking to define life by their own terms.
My Relationship with Goals
I’ve always struggled with the concept of “goals”.
For one, I never had to confidence to own up to what I really wanted and usually made goals based on what I saw everyone else striving for.
To me, goals always had a rigidness to them, once they were set – that was it. And as a result, I would stress out and pressure myself to achieve them exactly as I had laid them out.
Going through Desire Map Level 2 made me realize how much I actually hate the word “goal” and how unmotivating it was for me. I only made goals because that’s what I thought I should be doing (told you the shoulds of life is a recurring theme). They made me feel stuck, as if I was working from a place of obligation, rather than a place of motivation and true desire.
Intentions Instead of Goals
To help me push past my unhealthy relationship with goals I decided to try changing the language I used to describe them. Instead of “goals” I was going to start calling them “intentions”.
Ahhh, now that feels like a breath of fresh air.
By the end of the workshop, we all declared 3-4 intentions, goals, dreams, desires, hopes – whatever language we wanted to use – for the next year.
My intentions are very broad, there’s no set deadlines or numbers to meet, no regulations on how I’m supposed to achieve them. They’re open to interpretation, which I’ve discovered is incredibly motivating for me.
My 2015-2016 Intentions:
Joyful Creative Expansion – I want to stretch my creativity and add more play and lightheartedness to my creative pursuits. I want to try things just because I want to, not because of some end gain.
Professional Clarity – I’ve been questioning whether the entrepreneurial career path is really the path for me, so I want to spend the rest of this year and through the next exploring other options of work that I find fulfilling.
Experience Life, Offline – I have let social media and the online world completely take over how I experience life and I don’t find it to be as fulfilling and joyful as I would like.
More Flow, Less Force – Life is about balance, finding a happy medium between pushing and pulling. Lately, I feel as if I’ve been doing a lot of pushing for things that in reality I don’t want or need. It’s time to stop trying to control everything and instead let it go with the flow.
If you have any interest in participating in a workshop feel free to reach out to me or Marcy directly. We love talking all things Desire Map!
I hope you have a beautiful week – thanks for reading!
All my love,