So last week Krystal from The Feisty House posted her thoughts on 10 annoying natural hair questions that we in the natural hair community tend to see a lot. I really enjoyed hearing her point of view on these questions and decided to keep the discussion going over here on Kinks.
Continue reading for my thoughts on these annoying natural hair questions below, then be sure to check out Krystal’s post here, and while you’re at leave us both a comment about what you think about these questions – I’d love to hear your perspective.
1. Can I touch it?
Yes, you can. This question has never bothered me, maybe because it’s not something I’m asked that often, but either way I don’t mind. I like the idea of further educating and opening people up to different types of beauty, so as long as it’s asked out of genuine curiosity and a desire to know more, go ahead and dig your fingers in there – you can give me a quick scalp massage while you’re at it 😉
2. Is that all your hair?
Another question I don’t get that often as my hair isn’t all that long just yet for people to wonder. I can see those who have massive fros or really long dreads getting asked that a lot. When I had senegalese twists in I would get this question a bit, but again it didn’t really bother me as I realized it was quite a drastic change from my TWA.
But I can see where this question can get frustrating for some. As black women we’re constantly depicted wearing weaves, wigs, and/or extensions so when our actual hair is long, full, big, and awesome people question it because it’s (unfortunately) not the norm. So again, it’s about being open to educating people – however I can totally see how annoying this could get if you’re constantly being asked.
3. Is it hard to comb?
Depending on the context of this question this could be a little offensive. As Krystal mentioned, this can definitely get you a little bit of the side-eye cause it kind of sounds like you’re saying my hair looks like it hasn’t been combed. But like I said, it really depends on the situation and context of the question – most of the time it’s just, albeit naive, curiosity.
4. What made you do that?
I think this is a great question! I went from relaxed to natural so *naturally* (pun intended) I’ve received this question quite a bit, but it doesn’t bother me as I love sharing my natural hair story and I keep sharing it in hopes it will inspire others to do the same. That’s partially the reason Kinks are the new Pink is in existence
5. Are you really natural?
I think it’s pretty clear when you see my head of tightly wound, kinky curls that I’m pretty natural. 😉
I’ve never had anyone ask me this directly, but I did kind of struggled with the concept when I had senegalese twists. I remember when I first had them put in and I was working at my old job a fairly regular customer came in and he was so upset with me for getting extensions, he even told me he “liked me better with my natural hair“. And that definitely bothered me because in my mind I was still natural, my hair was just in a different state. But this opens a whole other topic for discussion about what you consider to be “really natural” – and that is for another post on another day 😉
6. What is it supposed to be doing?
Umm, I’m sorry, what? Have people really been asked this question? That’s just straight up rude. This question won’t get you a little side-eye it’ll get you a full on ‘who the hell are you?‘ stare. Don’t ask this question, ever. I feel like it’s supposed to be asking something like ‘how did you get your hair to do that?‘ but the way it was worded totally failed. So again, don’t ask this question.
7. Are you going to comb/do your hair?
This is a tough one and it’s so sad because it embodies the idea that having natural hair makes you dirty, unkempt, or undone. Which is so untrue! Now someone can have dirty/unkempt/undone natural hair, but just because they’re natural doesn’t mean that they, as a person, are those things.
I thankfully have never experienced this as I have an amazing & supportive group of family and friends. But I still see it happening outside my little bubble. Recently, I feel there’s been a lot of talk in the media and inter webs regarding children with natural hair and them being deemed a distraction at school because of their precious fluffy fros. It’s just so sad to hear about it, as we’ve come so far and yet we’re still bringing ourselves down by trying to fit a certain definition of beauty.
8. How do you wash it/that?
First and foremost, don’t say ‘That‘. This will get you another ‘who the hell are you?‘ stare.
If you ask how do I wash ‘it‘ then I will gladly explain! Again, I like educating and feeding into people’s curiosity – that’s how the natural hair movement is going to grow from being a fascinating trend (as it’s viewed sometimes) to something that is part of normal society.
9. How do you get your hair to do that?
Yes! This is a fantastic question that I don’t mind getting at all. This is why I blog about natural hair, though I admittedly don’t do as many hair tutorials as I’d like, but I love showing the positive aspects of having natural hair and one of those is all the various ways you can style it!
10. Did you cut your hair?
I don’t mind this question, I’m assuming it’s in regards to shrinkage and I can see how for those who deal with a lot of shrinkage and want longer curls could be frustrated by this. I’ve always loved shorter hair, even when I was relaxing my hair it was always short. It’s just easier for me to manage, I really don’t like spending hours and hours on my hair, so the faster and easier I can make it, the better.
And there you have it! Please let me know your thoughts on these questions and don’t forget to check out Krystal’s responses as well. I’d also love to hear any experiences from the other side, have you asked any of these questions? What was the person’s response to you?
Thanks for reading and have a rocking Wednesday!
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